Category: grief

• Roots

  “Somebody later told me it gave people hope.”

  -Forrest Gump

  hope (hōp) noun: to cherish a desire with anticipation.

  

  In 1989, I bought a mistletoe cactus before the hubby and I were married. We were living in a one-bedroom apartment in Astoria, Queens and spent weekends trying to get away and explore the city. One particular weekend, we went to one of the botanical gardens in New York. I don’t remember if it was the Bronx or in Brooklyn, but before we left I picked up a cactus from one of the vendors. It was much smaller than it is now and had grown so big I had to transplant it into a large pot several times. Then Death started knocking on doors, one by one taking our loved ones away. Slowly, I watched that cactus die, its needles dropping like rain on a funeral. I had that cactus for 25 years. It represented the life I’d created with the hubby and it had become representative of the life being sucked from our bodies; that’s when I finally took over. I gently ripped the ailing plant from its soil, carefully holding its frail roots and replanting it into a tiny little pot. I put it on the kitchen window sill to give it lots of sun and watered it when needed. Slowly, I watched that cactus regrow and carefully transplanted it into a pot slightly bigger. Within time, I was able to move it to an even bigger pot where it continues to grow as best it knows how. This is hope.

  January 6, 2026

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• To Mikey Bro

  Thank you for the inspiration from beyond and giving me the courage and motivation to bring these experiences to fruition. Without you, My Gump Ride would literally not exist. A day doesn’t go by when I don’t think about you and miss you dearly.

  

  January 5, 2026

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• Introduction

  The majority of this book is based on a blog I wrote between September 16, 2016 and December 1, 2018 called My Gump Ride (I have since taken it down), an homage to Forrest Gump’s run across America in the movie Forrest Gump. I’m not sure when the exact thought came to me in 2016, but I decided to incorporate the movie into a blog that would help me process a massive grief six years in the making. Something about Gump’s journey spoke to me at that particular time, becoming the springboard from which I leapt. I’ve loved the movie since the first time I saw it in 1994, ultimately purchasing the DVD (and later a digital download) after renting it and watching it multiple times from the local library. The story of Forrest Gump inspired me to tell my story as I grieved multiple losses in a short period of time. From the very first post of that blog, I knew from the beginning that it would end exactly three years, two months, 14 days and 16 hours later. I’ve learned to set parameters for myself with any given project. I tend to ramble (i.e. ADHD). Being a very specific time limit, it became a focus goal and my motivation to keep writing.

  http://a.co/d/jiFAiCb

  January 4, 2026

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